Low Sexual Desire
This can be as common in men as in women. Low sexual desire is characterized by an overall lack of interest or desire for sex often with limited sexual frequency, interest, or initiation. Fluctuating hormone levels and other medical concerns may contribute to lack of interest in sexual activity, however, it is common for relationship and psychological distress to also be a source of low desire.
Individuals and couples come to me because low sexual desire is a new or perpetual issue for them (some couples report a “sexless marriage”) and they don’t understand way. We will explore if your low desire is related to physical health, stress, mood or anxiety disorders, conflict in the relationship, previous negative sexual experiences, cultural or religious concerns, unresolved fantasies /sexual orientation issues, low self esteem, or a combination of these. We will explore a biopsychosocial sexual history as well as exercises and reading recommendations to improve your understanding of yourself.
For couples, many relationships report poor communication or embarrassment talking about sex, unresolved resentments, lack of connection, sexual preference differences or discrepancies in their partner’s sexual style, as well as difficulty recovering from stressors like an affair, new baby, medical concerns, menopause, etc. Unfortunately, sexual uneasiness and negative interactions between partners can lead to a vicious loop of less time and attention on sex. Any and all of these factors can be resolved in our sessions as we will focus on improved discussions, exercises / literature, methods to reduce stress and opportunities for reconnection.
Individual Sexual Exploration / Male & Female Sexual Inhibitions
Some of my clients struggle to let go and enjoy sex. Some of them are unable to reach orgasm, orgasm too quickly, or do not have a pleasurable sexual experience. Due to internalized messages, religious teachings, the media, body image concerns, trauma and/or other cultural influences, there are mental and emotional blocks to feeling fully relaxed or appreciating our sexual selves. This also affects our ability to share and enjoy our experience with a partner. Despite our desire to let go and our intellectual understanding of the importance and benefit of healthy sexual activity, we need someone to help us understand these mental roadblocks and their impact on our sexual health and happiness. We can work together to understand your values and attitudes about sex, your background, and your natural desires to have the happy and rewarding sexual life you deserve
Couples’ Desire Discrepancies
What is the right amount of sexual activity for a committed, monogamous couple? It’s a trick question! Only the people in the relationship can decide the right amount of sex for them.
The desire discrepancy problem arises when one partner desires sex more or less frequently than the other and conflict or resentment grows. In any relationship, one person is often labeled the “low-desire” partner but sometimes this a new development or the roles in the relationship change. Working together we can help you navigate through this desire discrepancy to learn how to be more in sync and satisfied with your sexual relationship.
If you’ve been a victim of an abusive relationship or trauma, your sexual functioning and enjoyment can be severely affected. Talking to a psychotherapist who has special training in sexual issues can help you understand the problems you are having, and assist you in working through them to achieve the kind of romantic and sexual relationship you desire and deserve.
I have success in working with individuals and couples of many different ethnicities, religions, sexual orientations and identities. I welcome all into my practice and always strive to learn from my clients and help them in ways in which they are most comfortable. As with any kind of psychotherapy, there is never any physical touching, disrobing, or sexual activity of any kind. Feel free to contact me at (248) 590-3612, I would be happy to speak with you regarding any of the sexual health questions or concerns listed above.